Sexuality and Sexual Development

 

Before beginning this discussion on sex, sexual development, gender identity and sexual orientation, the NCACIA would like to first state that our organization does recognize that there are very charged political and religious ideologies surrounding this discussion.  It is the position of the NCACIA, that regardless of your own personal convictions about these topics, that it is important to understand the dynamics surrounding these issues for the protection and well-being of our children. 

 

Sex, sexual development, gender identity, and sexual orientation are important aspects of human sexuality that are influenced by biological, psychological, social, and cultural factors. Understanding these concepts is crucial for promoting sexual health, inclusivity, and respect for individuals' identities and experiences.

 

1. Sex: Sex refers to the biological characteristics that are typically categorized as male or female. These biological traits include reproductive organs, chromosomes, and hormones. While sex is often binary, there are intersex individuals who possess variations in their sexual anatomy or chromosomes that do not fit typical male or female classifications, however these are considered anomalies and are very rare.

2. Sexual Development: Sexual development is the biological process through which individuals' physical, hormonal, and reproductive systems mature. During puberty, sexual development brings about changes in the body, including the development of secondary sexual characteristics such as breast development and facial hair growth.

3. Gender Identity: Gender identity is an individual's internal sense of their own gender, which may or may not align with the sex they were assigned at birth. Gender identity can be diverse and may include male, female, non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, and other identities. 

4. Sexual Orientation: Sexual orientation refers to an individual's romantic, emotional, or sexual attraction to others. The most common sexual orientations include heterosexual (attraction to opposite-sex partners), homosexual (attraction to same-sex partners), and bisexual (attraction to both male and female partners). There can also be other orientations, such as pansexual (attraction regardless of gender) and asexual (lack of sexual attraction).

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When a person is born, their sex (or biological gender) is used to categorize them as either male or female. At that stage in a child's life, they do not yet possess the cognitive development to fully understand themselves and their identity. It takes time and brain development before they begin to grasp their sense of "self" and recognize themselves in a mirror.

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Our sense of self, attractions, and expression within the world are shaped by a combination of biological, psychological, and environmental factors. As we grow and experience life, we gradually develop a sense of who we are and how we wish to express ourselves. Around puberty (typically between 10-12 years old), biological and social factors play a role in forming our ideas of sexuality and attractions.

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Over time, we all come to understand our sexual orientation and gender identity. These aspects of ourselves may differ in various ways, and our gender expression may also be distinct from our orientation or identity. Today, many children do question their identity and many children today claim to have fluid or changing ideas about themselves. During this process, it is important for parents, caregivers, and authority figures to provide support to children, even if they may not agree with these beliefs. Children are a vulnerable population, and showing them love and support fosters trust, which is crucial for abuse disclosure if a child needs to share something important with a safe adult.  It is important to be mindful of the fact that other responses from these adults may create barriers for victim children to disclose abuse when they may need to do so.

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Supportive caregiving can coexist with being protective of a child's well-being both mentally and spiritually. It is possible for adults to responsibly care for children and appropriately acknowledging the child's beliefs about their own sexual orientation, sexual identity, and expression, and also providing the guidance and support that as a parent or caregiver you believe to be necessary for the child's own mental health and spiritual considerations.

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Sexual Behaviors

 

Historically people have subscribed to the idea that a person’s sexual behavior was a function of their sexual orientation specifically.  Interestingly, Alfred Kinsey conducted a series of studies from the late 1940’s and early 1950’s, in which Kinsey asked people about their sexual orientations and their sexual behaviors.  Kinsey found that while only 8% of males identified themselves as exclusively homosexual, that 37% of males had at least one homosexual experience to orgasm with another male. Studies today have shown that the sexual behaviors that people engage in privately, don’t necessarily always align with their own internal concepts of sexual orientation and sexual identity.  

 

The behaviors that people engage in sexually are unique to them are complex in their formation.  These behaviors are highly driven by psychology and past experiences as well.  In Jack Morin’s book The Erotic Mind (1996), Morin laid the framework for a concept by which people achieve their “peak sexual experience”.  Later, in Katharine Gates’ book Deviant Desires (1998), Gates expanded on that original framework to encompass a more inclusive understanding of how people achieve their peak sexual experiences.

 

Morin’s original formula for the peak sexual experience was:

 

Desire+Obstacle=Excitement

 

This understanding was based on the principal that a person’s sexual desire, once met with some obstacle, made the experience far more exciting.  For example, lingerie is far more erotic that bare breasts, because the lingerie is an erotically suggestive barrier to seeing the bare breast, and therefore, more exciting.  These obstacles can also be of a “taboo” or socially unacceptable nature as well.  For instance, some people enjoy having sexual intercourse in a public place because the thrill or the danger of being caught makes the experience more exciting.  These obstacles are also relevant to our child crimes investigations as well.  For example, sexually explicit images depicting a child are more sexually exciting to offenders because of the illegal, dangerous, and morally despicable nature of the images.

 

Gate’s improved formula for the peak sexual experience is:

 

Pressure+Resistance=Excitement

 

The reason the original formula was improved upon was because there was an overwhelming number of paraphilias and fetishes that encompassed a broader need for the change of “desire” to “pressure” and “obstacle” to “resistance”.  The pressure can be of a physical or psychological nature, and the resistance can be of a physical or psychological nature as well.  For instance, Gates described an “interpersonal pressure”, like seduction, dominance, or submission; as well as “social pressure”, such as sexual taboos or criminal sexual behaviors.

 

It is certainly the truth that sexuality and gender identity and expression are very complicated concepts, however, we do know that human sexual behaviors are primarily driven and governed by our own psychological make-up.  It is of vital importance that we understand these issues better so that we can provide the necessary protections to those most vulnerable to abuse.