As police detectives working on crimes against children, understanding the dynamics of couples as sexual offenders is crucial for effective investigations. In this blog post, we will delve into the characteristics specific to couples involved in sexual offenses, exploring how they become offenders, the psychological disorders that may be present, common traits for profiling purposes, and strategies for interviewing these couples as separate individuals to aid in investigative success.
Understanding How Couples Become Sexual Offenders:
A. Shared Deviant Sexual Interests
Couples as sexual offenders often share deviant sexual interests, which can play a significant role in their journey towards becoming offenders. Here are further insights into this aspect:
Mutual Validation and Reinforcement: In couples where both partners harbor deviant sexual interests, the presence of shared fantasies, desires, or experiences related to child sexual abuse can create a sense of validation and reinforcement. The couple may find comfort and acceptance in each other's desires, which can lead to an escalation of their shared interests.
Normalization of Deviant Behavior: Within the confines of the couple's relationship, the deviant sexual interests can become normalized. The partners may view their desires as acceptable or even desirable, further strengthening the bond between them. The normalization of deviant behavior can contribute to the gradual erosion of inhibitions and the progression towards engaging in abusive or exploitative acts.
Co-construction of Fantasies and Rituals: As couples explore their shared deviant sexual interests, they may co-construct elaborate fantasies and rituals that involve the sexual exploitation of children. These fantasies and rituals become ingrained in the dynamics of their relationship, reinforcing their shared desires and creating a sense of excitement and anticipation.
Emotional Intimacy and Bonding: The exploration of deviant sexual interests can create a unique form of emotional intimacy and bonding within the couple. The shared secrets, taboo desires, and participation in sexual acts involving children can create a strong bond rooted in their deviant behaviors. This emotional intimacy can further solidify their commitment to each other and their shared offending behavior.
Reinforcement through Justification and Rationalization: As couples become more entrenched in their deviant sexual interests, they often develop elaborate systems of justification and rationalization. They may convince themselves that their actions are harmless, consensual, or even beneficial to the child victims. These cognitive distortions serve to reinforce their deviant behavior and reduce feelings of guilt or remorse.
B. Reinforcement of Deviant Behavior
Within a couple, the reinforcement of deviant sexual desires and behaviors plays a crucial role in the progression towards becoming sexual offenders. Here are further insights into this aspect:
Mutual Validation and Encouragement: In couples where both partners share deviant sexual desires, there is often a mutual validation and encouragement of their deviant behavior. Each partner reinforces the other's desires, providing a sense of acceptance and normalcy. This validation can contribute to the couple's willingness to act upon their deviant sexual interests.
Emotional Bonding and Intensified Desire: The reinforcement of deviant behavior within the couple can lead to a deepening emotional bond and an intensification of their shared desires. As they support and encourage each other, their attraction towards engaging in sexual offenses against children may grow stronger. The shared secrecy and complicity can create a heightened sense of excitement and pleasure.
Planning and Coordination: The reinforcement within the couple can extend to the planning and coordination of sexual offenses. They may collaboratively strategize ways to gain access to child victims, establish control and dominance, and evade detection. The couple's shared commitment to their deviant behavior enables them to work together effectively, making it more challenging for investigators to uncover their offenses.
Cover-up and Secrecy: The reinforcement within the couple also facilitates the cover-up and secrecy surrounding their sexual offenses. They may develop elaborate mechanisms to conceal their actions, such as establishing alibis, creating false narratives, or manipulating the perceptions of others. The mutual reinforcement of their deviant behavior strengthens their commitment to maintaining secrecy and avoiding detection.
Power Imbalances and Control: In some couples, there may be a power dynamic where one partner assumes a dominant or controlling role, while the other becomes subservient or compliant. The reinforcement of deviant behavior can exacerbate these power imbalances, with the dominant partner exerting control over the other and manipulating them into participating in sexual offenses. This coercive dynamic within the couple further perpetuates the cycle of abuse.
As previously noted, these shared interests or this reinforcement of deviant behavior might be the result of a power imbalance dynamic within the relationship between the offenders. An important dynamic often observed in these offending couples is the presence of an alpha-follower relationship.
The Alpha in the Couple:
The alpha in the couple refers to the partner who assumes a dominant role and exerts control and influence over the dynamics of the relationship and the sexual offenses committed. Here are some personality disorders commonly associated with the alpha:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): The alpha partner may exhibit traits of NPD, characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. They may view their sexual desires as superior to the well-being and rights of the child victims, using manipulation and coercion to fulfill their needs.
Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD): Individuals with ASPD may also take on the alpha role within the couple. They exhibit a disregard for the rights and feelings of others, lack remorse or empathy, and engage in exploitative behaviors. The alpha with ASPD may use their dominance to manipulate and control the follower, leveraging their power to engage in sexual offenses.
The Follower in the Couple:
The follower in the couple refers to the partner who assumes a submissive or supportive role, often feeding off the energy and influence of the alpha. Here are some personality disorders commonly associated with the follower:
Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD): The follower may exhibit traits of DPD, characterized by an excessive need to be taken care of, a fear of abandonment, and difficulty making independent decisions. They may rely heavily on the alpha for emotional and psychological support, reinforcing the power dynamics within the relationship.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD): Individuals with BPD may also be seen as followers within the couple. They often struggle with a fragile sense of self, intense fear of abandonment, and difficulty regulating emotions. The follower with BPD may be easily influenced by the alpha, seeking validation and stability in the relationship, even at the expense of engaging in harmful sexual acts.
Coercion and Control within the Alpha-Follower Dynamic:
The alpha partner exercises coercion and control over the follower, maintaining power and dominance within the relationship and the commission of sexual offenses. Here are some dynamics to consider:
A. Manipulation Tactics
The alpha partner within the couple may employ various manipulative tactics to establish and maintain control over the follower. These tactics are used to exploit vulnerabilities, create a sense of dependency, and reinforce the power dynamics within the relationship. Here are some specific manipulation tactics employed by the alpha partner:
Emotional Manipulation: Emotional manipulation is a common tactic used by the alpha partner to control the follower. They may use emotional manipulation techniques to exploit the follower's insecurities, fears, or desires, thereby exerting control over their thoughts, emotions, and actions. By strategically manipulating the follower's emotions, the alpha partner can influence their compliance with the deviant sexual desires and behaviors.
Gaslighting: Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the alpha partner distorts the follower's perception of reality, making them doubt their own experiences, memories, and judgments. This tactic aims to destabilize the follower's sense of self and create dependence on the alpha partner for guidance and validation. Gaslighting can lead the follower to question their own moral compass, enabling the alpha partner to further enforce control over their involvement in sexual offenses.
Threats and Intimidation: Coercion and control within the alpha-follower dynamic can involve the use of threats and intimidation by the alpha partner. They may employ explicit or implicit threats to ensure the follower's compliance and silence. These threats can include physical harm, harm to loved ones, exposure of secrets, or professional or social consequences. By instilling fear in the follower, the alpha partner reinforces their dominance and maintains control over their involvement in sexual offenses.
Isolation and Dependency: The alpha partner may isolate the follower from external influences and support systems, ensuring their dependency on the alpha for emotional, social, and even financial needs. This isolation serves to heighten the follower's vulnerability and diminish their ability to seek help or resist the alpha's control. The alpha partner may actively discourage or undermine the follower's relationships with family, friends, or professionals who may intervene or challenge the abusive dynamic.
Exploitation of Power Imbalances: Within the alpha-follower dynamic, the alpha partner leverages existing power imbalances to maintain control over the follower. This can include exploiting differences in age, professional status, knowledge, or experience. The alpha partner may assert their authority, expertise, or credibility to manipulate and coerce the follower into engaging in sexual offenses, exploiting their vulnerabilities and diminishing their resistance.
B. Exploitation of Vulnerabilities
The alpha partner within the couple capitalizes on the vulnerabilities of the follower, using them as leverage to maintain control and increase the follower's compliance in engaging in sexual offenses. Here are some key dynamics to consider in this dynamic:
Low Self-Esteem: The alpha partner may exploit the follower's low self-esteem by manipulating their sense of self-worth and creating a dependence on the alpha's approval and validation. By reinforcing negative beliefs about themselves and offering conditional acceptance and affection, the alpha keeps the follower reliant on their approval, making them more susceptible to engaging in deviant sexual behaviors.
History of Trauma: If the follower has a history of trauma, the alpha may exploit their past experiences to maintain control. The alpha may use the follower's unresolved trauma as a means to manipulate their emotions and beliefs, making them more receptive to engaging in sexual offenses. By exploiting the follower's vulnerabilities stemming from their trauma, the alpha reinforces their dominance and control within the relationship.
Need for Acceptance and Belonging: The alpha partner may exploit the follower's strong desire for acceptance and a sense of belonging. By offering acceptance, affirmation, and a shared sense of purpose within the deviant sexual interests, the alpha creates a bond and dependency that the follower is reluctant to sever. This need for acceptance overrides the follower's moral and ethical boundaries, making them more likely to engage in sexual offenses.
Dependency and Financial Control: The alpha partner may establish financial control over the follower, creating a sense of dependency and further reinforcing the power dynamic. By controlling the follower's access to financial resources, the alpha restricts their autonomy and independence, making it harder for the follower to break away from the relationship. This dependency strengthens the alpha's control and increases the follower's compliance in engaging in sexual offenses.
Emotional Manipulation: Emotional manipulation plays a significant role in exploiting the vulnerabilities of the follower. The alpha partner may employ tactics such as guilt-tripping, emotional blackmail, or love-bombing to maintain control over the follower's emotions and decisions. By strategically manipulating the follower's emotions, the alpha reinforces their position of power and increases their influence over the follower's participation in sexual offenses.
Understanding the exploitation of vulnerabilities within the alpha-follower dynamic is crucial for police detectives investigating cases involving couples as sexual offenders. Recognizing the specific vulnerabilities targeted by the alpha partner allows detectives to develop a comprehensive understanding of the power dynamics and control mechanisms at play. This understanding helps detectives gather evidence, interview the individuals separately, and dismantle the manipulation tactics used to maintain the follower's compliance. By addressing the vulnerabilities exploited by the alpha, detectives can weaken their hold over the follower and pave the way for a successful investigation.
Differences between the Alpha and the Follower:
While both individuals in the couple contribute to the sexual offenses committed, there are distinct differences between the alpha and the follower:
A. Power and Control
The alpha partner in the couple assumes a dominant role, exerting power and control over the follower. Here are some key differences in terms of power dynamics between the alpha and the follower:
Decision-Making Authority: The alpha partner holds decision-making authority within the relationship, with the follower deferring to their choices and desires. The alpha determines the course of action, including the selection of victims, planning of offenses, and execution of sexual acts. The follower follows the lead of the alpha, often without questioning or challenging their decisions.
Assertiveness and Dominance: The alpha partner displays assertiveness and dominance in the relationship, asserting their will and desires over the follower. They tend to take a more active role in initiating and orchestrating the sexual offenses, while the follower tends to be more passive and compliant in carrying out the actions directed by the alpha.
Manipulative Tactics: The alpha partner may employ manipulative tactics, such as coercion, emotional manipulation, or threats, to maintain control over the follower. They use these tactics to reinforce their dominant position and ensure the follower's compliance in engaging in sexual offenses. The follower, in contrast, is more susceptible to manipulation and coercion, as their power and decision-making authority are limited within the relationship.
Sense of Responsibility: The alpha partner often assumes a greater sense of responsibility for planning, organizing, and covering up the sexual offenses. They take on a leadership role, actively managing the logistics and ensuring that their actions remain hidden. The follower, while still accountable for their participation, may rely on the alpha for guidance and direction in the commission of the offenses.
Risk-Taking Behavior: The alpha partner tends to exhibit a higher level of risk-taking behavior compared to the follower. They may be more inclined to initiate and escalate the sexual offenses, seeking novelty and excitement in their deviant actions. The follower, driven by their desire for acceptance and belonging within the relationship, may be more willing to engage in risky behavior under the influence of the alpha.
B. Motivations
The alpha partner and the follower in the couple may have different motivations for their involvement in sexual offenses. Understanding these motivations can shed light on the dynamics within the relationship. Here are some key differences in motivations between the alpha and the follower:
Need for Dominance and Control: The alpha partner is often driven by a need for dominance, control, or power over others. They derive satisfaction and a sense of superiority from exerting control over the victim and the follower. Sexual offenses become a means for them to fulfill these desires and assert their dominance within the relationship.
Fear of Abandonment or Rejection: The follower may be motivated by a fear of abandonment or rejection by the alpha. They may believe that complying with the alpha's desires and engaging in sexual offenses is necessary to maintain the relationship and avoid being cast aside. The follower's fear of losing the connection and validation they receive from the alpha can drive their participation in the offenses.
Desire for Validation and Acceptance: The follower may have a strong desire for validation and acceptance from the alpha. They may seek to please the alpha and gain their approval through their participation in the sexual offenses. The follower's self-esteem and sense of self-worth may be dependent on the alpha's validation, making them more susceptible to engaging in the acts directed by the alpha.
Power Imbalances and Dependency: The alpha partner thrives on the power imbalances within the relationship, deriving satisfaction from maintaining control over the follower. On the other hand, the follower may feel a sense of dependency on the alpha, relying on their approval, guidance, and validation for their own self-worth. This power imbalance can contribute to the follower's motivation to engage in sexual offenses as a means to maintain the relationship and fulfill their need for acceptance.
Self-Gratification and Satisfaction: The alpha partner may derive personal gratification and satisfaction from the sexual offenses, viewing them as a way to fulfill their own desires and fantasies. The follower, although participating in the acts, may derive satisfaction from pleasing the alpha or alleviating their own fears of abandonment or rejection. Their motivation may be rooted in the belief that compliance with the alpha's desires will secure their position within the relationship.
Grooming Tactics and Victim Manipulation:
Couples as sexual offenders employ various grooming tactics to manipulate and control their victims. Understanding these tactics is essential for police detectives working on cases involving couples. Here are key dynamics to consider:
Emotional Bonding: Couples as sexual offenders seek to establish emotional bonds with their victims. They may exploit the child's vulnerabilities, such as a need for love, attention, or validation, to create a sense of trust and dependency. Offenders may offer affection, gifts, or special privileges to manipulate the victim's perception of the relationship. By creating an emotional bond, the offenders aim to maintain control over the victim and minimize the likelihood of disclosure.
Manipulation of Boundaries: Offenders manipulate the victim's understanding of boundaries and appropriate behavior. They gradually desensitize the child to sexual acts, using techniques such as gradual escalation or normalization. Through this manipulation, offenders blur the lines between acceptable and abusive behavior, making it more challenging for the victim to recognize and report the abuse.
Isolation and Control: Couples as sexual offenders often isolate the child from supportive adults in their life. They may restrict access to family members, friends, or other protective figures who could potentially identify signs of abuse or intervene. By isolating the child, the offenders maintain control over the victim's environment and prevent disclosure. The absence of external support and monitoring makes it easier for the offenders to manipulate and groom the victim without interference.
Coordinated Manipulation: In some cases, the alpha and the follower within the couple may work together to manipulate the victim. They may take turns engaging in grooming behaviors or reinforce each other's actions. This coordinated manipulation can intensify the control exerted over the victim, making it even more challenging for the child to resist or disclose the abuse.
Threats and Intimidation: Couples as sexual offenders may employ threats and intimidation to maintain control over the victim. They may use fear tactics, such as threats of harm to the victim, their loved ones, or even pets, to deter disclosure. By instilling fear and emphasizing the potential consequences of speaking out, the offenders further solidify their power and discourage the child from seeking help.
Strategies for Interviewing Couples as Separate Individuals:
Separating the Partners: During interviews, it is essential to separate the partners to prevent collusion or interference with each other's testimonies. By interviewing them separately, you can gain unique insights, identify inconsistencies, and gather more comprehensive information about their involvement in the offenses.
Building Rapport: Establishing rapport with each partner individually is crucial to elicit truthful and accurate information. Approach each interview with empathy, active listening, and non-judgmental attitudes, allowing the individuals to feel more comfortable disclosing their roles and experiences within the offenses.
Explore Rationalizations: Couples as sexual offenders may employ rationalizations or minimization techniques to justify their actions or downplay their level of involvement. During interviews, it is important to explore these rationalizations, presenting evidence, confronting inconsistencies, and highlighting the impact of their actions on the victims and how they view their own role in that victimization.
Exploring Rationalizations and Interviewing the Alpha:
When conducting interviews with the "alpha" partner in a sex offender couple relationship, it is important to adopt a strategic approach that takes into account their highly narcissistic tendencies. Instead of focusing on victim impact, the goal should be to minimize the potential consequences and repercussions for the "alpha" in order to foster a sense of cooperation driven by their own self-interest. Here are key strategies for achieving this:
Building Rapport: Establishing rapport is crucial when interviewing highly narcissistic individuals. Detectives should make an effort to create a positive and non-confrontational environment that appeals to the "alpha's" self-interest. By demonstrating understanding and empathy towards their perspective, detectives can increase the likelihood of cooperation.
Appealing to Ego and Self-Preservation: Narcissistic individuals are often driven by self-interest and self-preservation. During the interview, detectives can strategically appeal to the "alpha's" ego by highlighting their intelligence, abilities, or unique qualities. By emphasizing how their cooperation can benefit their own image or protect their reputation, detectives can motivate the "alpha" to provide valuable information.
Minimizing Consequences: Rather than focusing on the potential negative consequences of their actions, detectives should emphasize the potential benefits of cooperating. This may include discussing options for reduced charges, lesser penalties, or potential opportunities for rehabilitation and treatment. By presenting cooperation as a pathway towards minimizing personal harm, detectives can encourage the "alpha" to be more forthcoming with information.
Presenting a Collaborative Approach: Instead of adopting an adversarial stance, detectives should convey a sense of collaboration and working together towards a resolution. This can be achieved by involving the "alpha" in the decision-making process, seeking their opinions, and making them feel like an active participant. By framing the interview as an opportunity for the "alpha" to have a say in their own outcome, detectives can increase their engagement and cooperation.
Managing Ego and Control: Narcissistic individuals often have a strong need for control. Detectives should be mindful of this and employ strategies that allow the "alpha" to maintain a sense of control during the interview process. This can be done by offering choices or providing them with a sense of influence over the proceedings. By managing their ego and giving them a perceived sense of control, detectives can increase their compliance and cooperation.
It is important to note that while appealing to the "alpha's" self-interest can help facilitate their cooperation, it should never compromise the integrity of the investigation or the pursuit of justice. The strategies outlined above are intended to minimize resistance and encourage the "alpha" to provide valuable information, ultimately aiding in the successful investigation and prosecution of cases involving sex offender couples.
By adopting a strategic and empathetic approach, detectives can navigate the complex dynamics within the sex offender couple relationship, manage the narcissistic tendencies of the "alpha," and effectively gather crucial information to ensure a thorough investigation.
Interviewing the Confrontational Follower:
In some cases, the follower in a sex offender couple may exhibit a confrontational or defensive demeanor during interviews. Detectives must approach these individuals with tact and strategic techniques to establish trust and foster collaboration. Here's how to navigate the interview process with a confrontational follower:
Remain Calm and Professional: It is essential for detectives to maintain a calm and professional demeanor when dealing with a confrontational follower. By staying composed and composed, detectives can set a positive tone for the interview and avoid escalating tensions.
Active Listening and Validation: Show genuine interest in the follower's perspective by actively listening to their concerns, thoughts, and emotions. Validate their experiences, acknowledging that their feelings and reactions are understandable given the circumstances. This approach helps build rapport and demonstrates empathy.
Establish Common Ground: Look for areas of shared understanding or common ground to establish a sense of connection. By finding common interests or concerns, detectives can foster a collaborative environment and facilitate a more open dialogue with the confrontational follower.
Addressing Defensive Behaviors: If the follower exhibits defensive behaviors, such as denial, deflection, or hostility, calmly address these behaviors without escalating the situation. Use non-confrontational language to point out inconsistencies or contradictions, and redirect the conversation towards facts, evidence, and the impact of their actions.
Transparency and Open Communication: Emphasize the importance of transparency and open communication throughout the interview process. Assure the confrontational follower that their perspective is valued and that their cooperation is crucial in uncovering the truth. Encourage them to share any information or insights they deem relevant to the investigation.
Offering a Different Perspective: Introduce alternative viewpoints or perspectives that challenge the follower's rationalizations or justifications. By providing objective information, data, or evidence, detectives can help the confrontational follower reconsider their beliefs or assumptions, encouraging a more cooperative mindset.
Building Trust and Safety: Reassure the follower that their cooperation will be handled with utmost confidentiality and that their safety is a top priority. Explain the measures in place to protect them from potential retaliation or harm. This helps alleviate fears and creates a safe environment for the follower to share information.
Collaborative Problem-Solving: Encourage the confrontational follower to engage in collaborative problem-solving. Present the investigation as an opportunity to address and rectify past actions, highlighting the potential for personal growth and positive change. Emphasize that their active participation can contribute to preventing further harm and protecting potential victims.
Reframing Resistance as a Sign of Strength: Help the confrontational follower see resistance or defensiveness as a sign of their own strength and resilience, rather than a weakness. By reframing their behavior as a natural response to challenging circumstances, detectives can empower the follower to channel that strength into constructive cooperation.
Patience and Persistence: Dealing with a confrontational follower may require patience and persistence. It may take time to establish trust and overcome their initial resistance. Detectives should remain dedicated to building rapport, addressing concerns, and gradually guiding the confrontational follower towards a more cooperative stance.
By employing these strategies, detectives can navigate interviews with confrontational followers, create a supportive environment, and ultimately encourage their active participation in the investigation. Through trust-building and collaborative approaches, detectives can uncover valuable information, explore their cognitive distortions, and work towards dismantling the sex offender couple dynamic.
Interviewing the Quiet and Reserved Follower:
When encountering a more quiet or reserved follower in a sex offender couple, it is important for investigators to take a soft approach and work towards building a sense of safety during the rapport-building phase of the interview. Recognizing the power imbalance within the sex offender couple is crucial when interviewing this type of follower. Detectives can strategically approach the interview by acknowledging the follower's position as the weaker half and providing reassurance that they understand the dynamics at play. By emphasizing their willingness to work collaboratively and expose the dominant partner's control, detectives can foster a sense of empowerment and cooperation. Here's how this approach can be integrated into the interviewing strategies:
Acknowledging the Power Imbalance: At the beginning of the interview, detectives should explicitly acknowledge the power dynamics within the couple, making it clear that they recognize the follower's position as the weaker half. This validation helps establish rapport and trust, as the follower may feel understood and less defensive.
Highlighting the Manipulation and Control: Detectives can emphasize their understanding of how the alpha partner exercises coercion and control over the follower. By discussing the tactics used to manipulate and exploit vulnerabilities, detectives can demonstrate their knowledge of the follower's predicament and offer support in breaking free from that control.
Offering Protection and Support: During the interview, detectives should reassure the follower that they are committed to their safety and well-being. By providing information on protective measures, such as witness protection programs or legal interventions, detectives can offer a sense of security and encourage the follower to cooperate in the investigation.
Collaborative Approach: Detectives can convey that they see the follower as a potential ally in exposing the dominant partner's behaviors and dismantling the power dynamic. By presenting themselves as a supportive team, willing to work together to challenge and disrupt the control exerted by the alpha, detectives can inspire a sense of empowerment in the follower.
Exploring Motivations for Cooperation: Detectives should explore the follower's motivations for cooperating with the investigation, highlighting the potential benefits and protections they may receive by providing crucial information. By focusing on their own self-interests, such as reduced legal consequences, protection from further harm, or the opportunity for personal growth and change, detectives can encourage the follower to actively participate.
Ensuring Confidentiality and Safety: Detectives should assure the follower that their cooperation will be treated with confidentiality and respect. By emphasizing their commitment to safeguarding the follower and ensuring privacy throughout the investigation, detectives can alleviate concerns about potential retaliation or harm. This would be of significant relevance in cases where there is a separation between the alpha and the follower at the time that the investigators conduct these interviews.
By actively engaging with the follower, understanding their unique position, and offering support, detectives can establish a cooperative and productive relationship. This approach can not only facilitate the investigation but also empower the follower to break free from the alpha's control and contribute to the dismantling of the sex offender couple dynamic.
Conclusion:
As police detectives working on crimes against children, understanding the characteristics specific to couples as sexual offenders is essential for successful investigations. By recognizing the psychological and personality disorders within the individuals, common traits in these cases, and grooming tactics employed by the offenders, you can better profile and apprehend these offenders. Implementing strategies for interviewing these couples as separate individuals will aid in gathering critical information and achieving investigative success. Together, we can protect the vulnerable and bring justice to those affected by these heinous crimes.
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