Speaking Up: Helping Children Feel Safe Reporting Unsafe Situations

One of the hardest truths in child abuse prevention is this: many children want to tell—but don’t feel safe enough to do so.

They worry they’ll get in trouble. They’re afraid they won’t be believed. They don’t want to hurt someone they care about. Or they simply don’t have the words to explain what feels wrong. Encouraging children to speak up about unsafe situations isn’t about pushing them to disclose—it’s about creating the conditions where disclosure feels possible.

For parents, caregivers, and professionals alike, fostering that environment is one of the most powerful protective actions we can take.

Why Children Don’t Speak Up

Understanding the barriers helps us remove them. Children often stay silent because:

• The unsafe person is someone they know or trust

• They’ve been told to keep secrets

• They fear punishment, disbelief, or family disruption

• They don’t recognize the situation as unsafe

• Past attempts to speak up were ignored or minimized

Abuse thrives in silence. Safety grows where children feel heard, believed, and protected.

What “Speaking Up” Really Means

Speaking up doesn’t always look like a dramatic disclosure. It may sound like:

• “I don’t like being around him.”

• “That made me feel weird.”

• “Can I stay home today?”

• Sudden behavior changes, withdrawal, or fear

Part of our role as adults is to listen beneath the words and take concerns seriously—even when they’re vague.

How to Encourage Children to Report Unsafe Situations

You don’t need special training to do this well. Focus on these high-impact practices:

1. Normalize Talking About Safety

Make conversations about safety part of everyday life—not just after something goes wrong. Talk about feelings, boundaries, and trusted adults regularly so speaking up feels normal, not alarming.

2. Respond Calmly—Always

Children watch our reactions closely. If we appear angry, shocked, or panicked, they may shut down. When a child shares a concern, respond with calm curiosity:

“I’m really glad you told me.”“Tell me more about that.”

3. Make It Clear They Won’t Be in Trouble

One of the strongest prevention messages is simple and powerful:

“You will never be in trouble for telling me something that made you feel unsafe.”

Repeat it often. Believe it yourself.

4. Teach the Difference Between Secrets and Surprises

Explain that surprises are temporary and fun, while secrets—especially about bodies or safety—are not okay. Let children know they should always tell a trusted adult if someone asks them to keep a secret that feels uncomfortable.

5. Identify Safe Adults Together

Help children name several safe adults they can go to if they feel unsafe—at home, school, activities, or in the community. Reinforce that if one adult doesn’t help, they should keep telling until someone does.

6. Believe First, Investigate Later

For professionals especially, believing a child does not mean abandoning objectivity—it means responding in a way that prioritizes the child’s emotional and physical safety. Doubt and dismissal are among the most damaging responses a child can experience.

The Role of Professionals

For CPS workers, law enforcement, CAC staff, educators, and advocates, encouraging children to speak up means:

• Using trauma-informed language

• Avoiding “why” questions that imply blame

• Creating predictable, child-centered processes

• Reinforcing that the child did the right thing by telling

A child’s first disclosure experience often determines whether they will ever speak up again.

Final Thought

Children don’t need perfect words. They need safe listeners.

When we consistently show children that their voices matter—that they will be protected, not punished—we

weaken the silence that allows abuse to continue. Encouraging children to speak up isn’t about forcing disclosure. It’s about building trust, one conversation at a time.

Because when children know they’ll be heard, they’re far more likely to speak.